You won’t have slept or eaten properly for days. Did you not read the previous footnote? Storms. Plus what good is all that gear when people keep losing their mittens and we find the deceased half-stripped? And if a storm hits and you cannot find your way back to camp? Oh boy! Get ready for a windchill exceeding 100 below zero. We’ll do our best to help if you develop High Altitude Cerebral Edema (HACE) where your brain starts leaking fluids, but remember at the top of a mountain, there is only so much we can do. But you can never be 100% sure how high altitude will affect individuals. Plus they always have a delicious, steaming cup of tea ready when you reach your tent. Essentially they take care of the most dangerous tasks for a fraction of what we pay our Western guides. They cook, carry the heaviest loads, and lay out the ropes. That’s an understatement! We would be screwed without these guys. ![]() Just kidding! We’ll provide bottled oxygen at the higher altitudes. They’ll pass you over for dead THREE TIMES before they put some effort into helping you. Some of them suck big time…when it matters most too. ![]() Honestly, after the first one, you won’t notice them anymore. Just avert your eyes from the dead bodies along the trail. Does not include airfare to Nepal and subsequent FedEx expenses when we return your personal belongings to your grieving spouse in. What are you waiting for? There is limited space! Call us today at 1-800-YOU-DEAD to sign up. Remember your safety and health are our top priority! When the time is right, we’ll organize the final push to the summit where you will enjoy the exhilaration of being the King/Queen of the world. ![]() We have you covered…with the best protective clothing available! And in addition to our expertise and mentorship, we will have the support of the local populace, the Sherpa, to handle the basic logistical arrangements so that you can focus on the prize.ĭon’t sweat it! We will prepare you for the high altitudes with our carefully developed Acclimatization Program. Worried that you lack the necessary climbing experience?ĭon’t be discouraged! While Mount Everest is the tallest mountain in the world, it is not the most technically challenging climb. as we climb to.įor the bargain price of $65,000, we will take you on the adventure of a lifetime full of scenic views, camaraderie, and athleticism. Life got you down? Then join us on a guided expedition led by Capital Idiocy Inc.
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